Why “Be Fearless” is misleading
“Be Fearless” has become so trendy in recent years - from social media to the workplace.
But what does it mean?
Why is fear a bad thing?
And what is fear?
Fear is our vital response to our physical, emotional and energetic environment, a critical part of our human evolution. Before technology, and human civilisation as we know it today, fear gave us important information about life or death situations - being chased by a lion, or seeing an impending flood. However, in modern times, our bodies are still reacting in the same way when the phone pings, or giving a presentation.
What happens when we try to box it up?
Fear is an important emotion that gives us information about the state we are in, or whether something is right for us. Eliminating this by being fearless is giving us the message that this emotion is important, and to bypass this important feeling. But when we bypass an emotion, we are simply putting this in a box. And much like a puppy wanting to explore the world if we cage this puppy in a small room, over time - it will start to run havoc - tearing cushions, defecation and potentially hurting itself trying to burst out.
Fears (and feelings) are like this - the more we bypass or box it up, the bigger it gets, until we allow this to be moved through our body through movement or and acknowledged.
Fear is one of our core emotions
Remember Pixar’s “Inside Out”? One of the characters is purple Fear. Fear was part of the team alongside other characters - Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust. Fear played just an important role as the other characters that helped the girl take action and respond to the environment - such as switching the TV channel from a scary movie (to admittedly a scary animal documentary!) but it informed her to take action.
Much like the purple character, fear helps us to recognise what is happening in our body - whether it be a fast heartbeat or sweaty palms.
So what does this mean?
How can we still take bold actions?
Well, we can. It’s important that we feel this fear - note the word feel, not think, and to connect with our courage and vulnerability to drop into or move into what our instincts tell us is the right thing for us.
I’ll share my personal story
My heart has been desiring to be physically closer to my man for almost a year. He lived 8 hour drive away and the longing and desire within both of us to be closer has been there since we started seeing each other. It was very clear to me that once I completed my Biodanza Facilitator accreditation in Canberra, that I would move back to Melbourne. I felt a range of fears - returning to a place that I loved and also escaped from. Not knowing what my living situation is. “What if it doesn’t work out?”
I’ve been back in Melbourne for 1 week, and I still feel these fears. I packed my car and drove the 8 hours to Melbourne. How am I feeling? Excited, scared, hopeful, and at the same time, I know that this is where I am supposed to be right now - my body doesn’t want to be anywhere else. I don’t have the answers, and I’m trusting my internal wisdom and instincts to continually guide me, while feeling these fears through movement, and allowing them to be present. Sometimes I box it up, but I also allow time to acknowledge and feel it.
Was it a fearless move? Definitely not. But it took courage and feeling my vulnerability to new levels.
How do I dance with my fears?
The growth of our relationship and connection has strengthened over the year we have been together. Often feeling the fears that have risen from deep within me and allowing myself to feel, and express through my body has allowed me to see that these emotions are just as valid as my other emotions. Deepening our connection through practices has shown me that this relationship is what my body, soul and heart desires. This is exactly what I have been longing for, for many years.
Through this connection with what my heart desires, I subconsciously and consciously aligned my life, environment, and direction towards this. Knowing this connection is stronger than the fears that may hold me back. My fears sometimes take voice and can leak out if I don’t spend time with them - through blame and tantrums, and this is when I know I haven’t taken the time to connect with the fears.
It’s a continual dance.
And it’s so possible to be courageous and vulnerable and feel your fears. Actually, it’s critical.
If you would love support to connect with your courage, vulnerability and fears, connect with me through a free 30min Discovery Call to learn how I may support you on your journey.
