Call in Your Power
I am feeling a delicious sense of wholeness and nourishment as I stand grounded in my power.
I feel strong as I once again bring my energy back to me, rather than allowing it to scatter externally by way of business building, projects, chat groups or bumping into an ex-lover (yes, 5 days ago...)
I have spent many years giving away my power to past relationships/lovers, work, projects, friends and family. I sprint, I crash, I fall, I re-energise, and I repeat. It hadn't served me well.
In my career, I spent a lot of energy pleasing others - bosses, colleagues and clients. I was constantly striving to shine and dazzle - to exceed others' expectations and to be more perfect than perfect. I gave away my power by hiding my wise woman, my fierce warrior, my intuitive. I gave away my power when I didn't stand up to a racist colleague. I gave away my power by going to pubs with colleagues when I hated it. I gave away my power when I didn't speak up in meetings.
In romantic relationships, I played small. I gave away my power by not fully showing my intuition because he only believed in science. I gave away my power when I constantly thought about his schedule and not mine. I gave away my power by not standing in my ground of wanting a full conversation about children - because he didn't want any, and my head was convinced I didn't either. I gave away my power when he joked about my Asian quirks and I laughed, but it ate away at my heart little by little.
Giving away my power hasn't served me well.
Giving away my power makes me small and wobbly, like standing on shaking legs. I lose clarity in my thoughts and it all gets rather tied up and messy. I get too worried about what others think.
What has been most beneficial is noticing when I am giving away my power and consciously bringing it back. Literally calling my power to return! I feel into my body as I notice that I have given my power away. Noticing the difference in the quality of my thoughts and feelings.
I drop into practices such as meditation, movement, journalling, and making sounds. I feel into different archetypal energies that are most alive and want to be seen and heard. Sometimes my wild woman demands to be heard. Sometimes my wise sage peers quietly over her spectacles waiting for me to pause and listen. Sometimes Little Jean tugs on my top waiting for me to hold her. Sometimes my sexual woman takes space in my home.
Sometimes it takes me days/weeks before I realise I had given my power away. Other times, immediately. When I find my courage to call it back, I feel so powerful.
When I speak, I speak with conviction. And it FEELS GREAT!
How are you calling in your power?
