32yo Jean : Queen of my own time
I look out at the old city of Valletta, Malta on the last day of our holiday and savour every last moment. It had been a beautiful 6 weeks in Europe - tasting delicious morsels of food, walking through vineyards, attending my first fashion show, watching my first football match, abseiling down a cathedral, devouring crusty Maltese bread everyday...
I had just finished texting a friend, lamenting how I wish I didn't have to go back to work.
Her: "So what would you like to do instead?"
Me: "Dance, travel, create - whenever my heart calls me, not when someone gives me permission to"
Her: "So why don't you?"
I made excuses and closed the chat. Her words swirling around in my head - "So why don't you?"
I have no real reason but to pay off our mortgage by 40 so we can be free. An ambitious task meaning no holidays for 8 years. I feel my heart and tummy clench.
This isn't how I want to live.
Not my heart, not my body, not my soul. My mind, maybe.
*****
So as we travel home, I begin to brain and heart storm what being the Queen of my own time means:
* I am not answerable to anyone as to how I spend my time.
* I am not answerable to anyone as to what I do for pleasure
* I want to be queen of my own time and energy.
*****
As I settle back home, I return to the routine, but the fire in my belly has been lit. I begin to work intensively with my coach around how life can look like.
I use the tools that I know how - largely leading with my mind - what are my skills, experiences, strengths. What do I love doing at work, in my own spare time? I pick out my favourite art supplies and start writing, brainstorming. I can feel the excitement in me build up.
But there is a persistent voice "how will you make money?" and it keeps pulling me back. I attend an entrepreneur's workshop and I am blown away by others' experience. I feel small again... I start to brainstorm ideas - like running a business to organise beautiful stationery for parents at the start of a school year or creating bespoke and personalised travel plans...
*****
9 years later, I am now Queen of my own time. I coach beautiful souls to live life on their terms and to support them to embrace and embody their courage. I hold Asian Women Rising - a monthly circle to share and connect.
I am appreciated for my energy and expertise on other fun jobs - choosing when I work, and using my previous corporate skills in sponsorship, relationship management and communication. Not only am I dancing, I'm also teaching Biodanza - the "Dance of Life" that changed my life 9 years ago.
I am manifesting my DREAM.
*****
It is possible to live life on your terms.
To live your Dream Life.
