I’m scared to live my own life…

My 34yo self whispered.

She continued:
I am too scared to ask for a romantic relationship that I longed for
I am too scared to walk away from my career and create my own work
I am too scared to feel the freedom that I so desire
I am too scared to dream
I am too scared to listen to my intuition.

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This is a true story. This happened not long ago.

Even though others were inspired by the way I was living my life - being in a job that was 1 step away from my dream career, being with a wonderful man, travelling, dancing.

But I was playing small, and not being true to myself.

I was too scared to look deeply inside of me.

And I was feeling miserable. So miserable. I achingly took (too) long to decide to end my 11 year relationship that was slowly eating away at me. I curled up many a time crying feeling my fear of that big decision that would impact not only me, but on him. And then there was the “what would other people think?” question.

I just wanted to curl up and shut the world out.

So what did I do? I took baby steps. I started to courageously talk with other people. I spoke with my coach, teachers. I started my spiritual path with my first meditation teacher. I googled. I leaned in further into Biodanza and dived into my inner fears.

The fear was simple - I was scared to live my own life.

I felt so scared to face this fear, because it felt so enormous and impossible. And when I was given my challenge to live my own life in the Biodanza Minotaur workshop, tears streamed down my face as I stared at my teacher, shaking. I froze for what felt like an eternity, until I started taking my first step, and the next. Realising that it wasn’t so hard. I can just try this out now and besides, I can go back to where I was in the outside world. I’ll just have to try, maybe act a little and try flying around the room for a bit.

Little did I know that this was the spark that set off everything for the next 7 years… the taste of what it feels like to live my life.

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* Have you felt your fear of living and owning your life?
* That you don’t know where to start?
* That there’s another life you want to live?

I so hear you. Oh I feel you.

And I can support you.